1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
