She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
