I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
