I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
