i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
