my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
