If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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