Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
