Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
