my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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