im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
