So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
