I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
