Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
