lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Still dying that you shit outside
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
