My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
