Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
