i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
