"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
