..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
