I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
