Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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