Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My orgasm happened in two different decades
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
