Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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