Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Randomize
