I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
