Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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