I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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