We're facebook friends in real life
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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