I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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