***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
