i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
