i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
