these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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