i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
