I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
