he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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