i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
