I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
