she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
