he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I lost the right to judge tonight
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
