did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
