the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
