Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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