ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
