Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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