All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
