You just made me feel so damn special
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
