I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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