Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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