addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
