So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
