i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize