Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
