I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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